Teddy Jouret

A few months ago I fell down this rabbit hole of self-help books, starting with “Atomic Habits” by James Carter. It seems like no matter how much theory I read, I am unable to enact the changes I’d like to see. I know how habits form, I know what makes routines easier to slip into. I do not know how to convince myself to actually follow what I have learned.

Ever since high school I have found myself struggling to put in the effort needed to reach the heights I aspire to. Did Covid do a number on my productivity and working habits or has something else led me down this pathway? It feels like no matter how many tricks I try, nothing provides the result I am hoping for. Recently I saw someone claim that a lack of truly caring is what prevents people from making changes in their life, and I am starting to believe it.

It is so much easier to doom scroll, use ChatGPT, and stay secluded in my apartment. Getting those quick rushes of dopamine from a mildly funny post or easily answered question is great, but it is also just a curse. Actually developing your brain and developing yourself only comes through working hard and enduring the pains. You only get bored because your brain isn’t trained to focus anymore, that trait rotted away a thousand TikTok videos ago. I want to train myself to get through these cheap pleasures so I can focus on things that are more meaningful to me. Even sitting down here and writing this makes my brain hurt. Not used to focusing on a task like this.

It is a shame what smart phones have done to us, giving us everything in exchange for nothing. Sounds like a great deal on paper until you realize no development actually occurred to get to that result. My phone lets me escape tasks I need to do and projects I would like to do by just switching to some mindless app. Awful, just terrible.

The only path forward and out of these murky depths seems to be pushing myself. Pushing myself to engage with my interests and cut out the energy vampires in my life. Listing out the vices (social media, concept hopping, excessive resting) and replacing them with virtues (reading, chores, creating) is a start. Makes me feel like a Puritan, advocating for simple living. A life opposed to the modern world is super tricky when everyone and everything is so interconnected on these platforms. I am even writing this on a computer, which is so easy to find myself distracted on.

Learning more about how Puritans lived so simply or what New England transcendentalism might be worthwhile. If I keep living as a consumer I am not going to be happy. I need to carve a path to happiness through hard work and dedication. It won’t come from scrolling, it will come from working on things that matter to me. I am probably going to keep on posting my journey of self-development.